In Sasolburg it's supersized or nada!

The dawgs in the Sasburg have their own unique way of rollin' in the Vaal hood, the code they live by is - it's either you go large (as in supersized M@t#erf$&ers) or go home! When we have steak it's a thick cut monster steaks, when we have beer it's a draught on tap (in man sized glass), we do competitive spinning at gym (like staring each other down releasing the fear) and everything I mean everything must be value for money - double dawg style.

When we dine we even have thick cut sashimi, like steaks and a man's man sized mezze platter!
Though the size portions are big, the best sushi that you will find in the Vaal Triangle is Sushi @ Gary's. The fish is fresh and it's value for money, if you are ever in the area you must try it. The mezze platter is from Feast in Parys not Paris with healthy sized portions on the menu and a nice atmosphere. I can highly recommend them if you do drive through Parys as in the States, Free State (they are on the main road you cannot miss them).

Sushi @ Gary's thick cut salmon sashimi (the size of small steaks)

Man size mezze platter at Feast

We shop here only at the best mall, and that is the Vaal Mall where we get double the value bananas - double dawgs! We are big on security as you can buy barbed wire by the meter next to the roadside as well as re-gas your car's aircon next to the road right outside the mall on your way to the R42 (Parys).

Vaal Mall

Two for one priced bananas

Barbed wire is sold next to the road not the mall

Local transport is something else here...we got limo's, bakkies kitted out with helluva sound systems, we like to ride our bicycles and harley's that would make you want to weep. All on Vaal baby! The only problem is the size of the potholes - they are enormous and boy do they grind my gears. Some of them are patched up like the one below but others are the size of man holes. Next the roads for your viewing pleasure you will find cattle, everywhere, even next to the highway. There are even stalker ice cream vans lurking in the streets, scaring the children with there signature creepy tune that they play over and over for hours. I can still hear it playing in my head, it haunts me. Close the curtains and switch of the lights the orange ice cream van is lurking in the street! Quick kids hide! 

My music's so loud - B!@tc#es are so jealous right now!

Peeps want to be heard in the Burg. Word!

Harley on Vaal: Players wanna be me...

Patched up sucker: Potholes grind my gears uuurrgggh

Roadside livestock

Beware of orange stalker ice cream van in a street near you!

We love our bicycles - even grandpa over here does!

In Sasolburg everything is larger than life, from Christmas lights on houses to local marketing initiatives, to offering Chinese massages (hopefully without a happy ending). 

Over the top Christmas lights - definitely a crowd puller

Yes that is a giant toilet roll on those block of flats

Clever advertising: "Milk on the Mooove". How cute?

Even our rainbows are quite spectacular - Sasburg spectacular...see we also have here. So pretty.

Rainbow on the way to Parys

Until next time...players are gonna be hatin' yo!

Bouf

xx

Smashing the floor in Sasburg

Surviving the Sasburg 101 requires one to get out there, meet people and get some exercise in!
But there not being a mountain here and all to hike out (except for little "koppies" and mine heaps that resemble a Table Mountain or Lions' Head), it was needed to join the local Virgin Active in Vanderbijlpark at once. So for about four weeks now I have been smashing the floor, spinning like a beast, on my knees, legs in the air, and shaking that thing like an animal....and let me tell you it ain't easy.

At my gym there are a group of ladies in their golden years who take almost all the classes and man have they gots the moves. I cannot keep up with them and most of the other ladies (who are super fit)  can't either.  These ladies are legends - no animals! So I decided I am gonna stick with them, find out what classes they're taking and attend those.

Smashin' the floor in the 80's, looked so much hotter then

As the only class I attended initially was spinning with the Panda and boy does it hurt during and after a session. Let me just say you end up being seriously envious of the lady in front of you who has a gel seat, coz riding a bike even though stationary hurts them sweetmeats....it only gets better after the third ride. Very sensitive.
Our instructor doesn't have any mercy either, when she says: "Okay guys we gonna take it slow", it means we gonna listen to Neal Diamond and put that resistance up to 9 b!t@#es...that's what it means! Don't be fooled by Neil baby he's hardcore, he wants you to ride that steep hill and feel the burn.
We also have little spin offs against each other, we clap after our spin to spur on the other team when they spin. It's nice it helps you through the pain and in the end we're all hurting the same.
The best part is when our instructor says: "If your heart rate is not sky high now, then you're not in my class. Pick up the pace". Yes ma'am, higher resistance ma'am, faster ma'am, thank you ma'am.
During a hectic session she shouts: "Okay guys on lower resistance just spin it out, spin it out". I thought she was saying: "spit it out" coz by that time I'm like a broken wild horse ready to drop to my knees and just cry it out....but it is a really good class. I can see the results on my legs - getting more shape and its tighter muscles as oppose to flub, so thanks crazy instructor lady you can stay.

"Spin it out!". I am sweating, spitting and crying it out right now!

Zomg are we done yet? I'm just gonna stand here just for a bit. Just give me a second.

Taking it slow on some Neil Diamond for real

This is going to be me in a few weeks time, sipping on some water and spinning it out without even breaking a sweat.

So the golden ladies like shakin' that thing at sexy Zumba, and me too I must admit. I don't know how sexy I am as I am still figuring out all the moves as I go. Sometimes I lose all co-ordination when I have to use my arms and legs at the same time - It takes a bit longer for the white girl with a butt to get the moves right. But dang is it fun and you come out there sweating! I especially enjoy the Friday morning instructor who breaks it down herself and after our class she is dripping in sweat. Respect.
The only slightly awks thing is that the studio is next to where the roid rage junkies are pumping some serious iron. They end up standing right at the window and staaaarre like Jarred stalker starrre...
But not for long, see our instructor does this war chant scream and gets us all hyped up and we stomp our feet to the floor while screaming, red in the face and looking damn angry at the world right now. So when those roid ragers end up gawking at us...and we stare back at them while our instructor screams. I think it kinda looks like this for them:
Instructor: "How you feeling?"
Us: "Pumped"
Instructor: "Have you had enough yet?".
Us: "Hell No, bring it!"
Instructor: "Do you wanna beat up some iron pumping stalkers out there?"
Us: "Zumba, f@3k yeah!"
They immediately dissapear as soon as we give them the death stare...I think it is kinda scary, we stare them down and holding I contact.
So as you can imagine I am quite hyped up aggro when I get home to the panda that's why he's like: "Calm the Zumba f@#k down, there is no war out here"....it's fun. I can highly recommend it!

Sexy Zumba

In my mind that's what like to believe I look like while Zumba-ing my butt off

The other classes the golden ladies have introduced me to are Kick and Move.

For some high intensity action the Kick class is way up there. You just don't simply jump up and down and do a few air punches. No, we had a lady that was in Satan's sister mode who put us on a boot camp...for real. Shame, in all fairness the instructor was hectic but really good at what she does, she worked us big time. There were 4 workout stations on rotation. We did multiple lunges, squats, push ups, core exercises, rolled around like a monkey, crawled like a trooper, we skipped, we ran, we shoved our pelvics in the air...all for the love of exercise and wanting to be fit. I started laughing at one point when the exercises got too hectic because I didn't want to cry. It might have given the wrong impression like maybe I'm a crazy mofo who wants to be punished some more while all the people had pain stricken  expressions on their faces. If you dig Kick and Zumba then you will dig the Move class - it is like aerobics but to the max. You get a good workout. Both these are kickass classes. 

Aerobics to the max

I have decided that I need some balance in my life and stretching of the muscles in my routine, as I am doing a lot of cardio. So I am taking the Pilates class once a week. Don't be fooled by the instructor lady, she is neither young nor built like a race horse. I'm not sure if she is Russian or German, I cannot judge by her accent, but she gives you a thorough workout.  From stretching to strengthening your core muscles, it's sometimes a bit strenuous but I can feel my tummy muscles getting stronger and tighter, yayness. Thou the little push ups still kills me. You also have to balance on the roller while your legs are in air (it's complicated) and I still can't get my legs straight when lifting them up...

Pilates for balancing and stretching the muscles

After a session at the gym that's what I feel like (pic below). Only I am much more red faced and sweating like some unworldly beast that's busy dying while making huffing and puffing noises....not a pretty sight.

I really feel awesome, no really... just resting my eyes for a bit

By the way who nominated the schmuck in the pic below standing at the back there? I only discovered this now, why was I not informed on this? We could have nominated someone better to represent us. Really now, I mean really...

Seriously look at this sad picture

'Till next time keep smashing that floor!

Bouf
xx